


Icarus

by Lemon Dr Pepper (sh1defier), lemon_dr_pepper



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Being trans is not a fetish, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Pre-WMTSB, Trans Character, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 13:43:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18661582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sh1defier/pseuds/Lemon%20Dr%20Pepper, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_dr_pepper/pseuds/lemon_dr_pepper
Summary: “If you developing feelings like these for him is an aberration, that’s his fault.  Personally, though, I think it was totally intentional.”  Sandalphon whips back to stare him down only to catch Belial’s eyes scanning over him much more slowly this time.  When Belial’s eyes reach his again, the adjutant laughs and waves him off.  “Sorry, I spend a fair bit of time reviewing the reports we get on you archangels.  It gives me some insight into the design process.  I’m sort of equal parts a scientist and an artist myself.  I can’t help it if I recognize someone else’s work.”





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> There is so much to unpack within the context of these angels and the men who created them... I promise this one is on the happy side, though. <3
> 
> (Also I couldn't quite figure out if we ever learned anything about that research lab garden Sandalphon lived in, so forgive me if I've written something ridiculous here. I made my best guesses based on being a botanist with a lab background.)

He sets down his cup, the clink of the porcelain crisp on the breeze that rustles the leaves around them.  Days like this are an oasis, so Lucifer has told him. It’s a treat for him to be able to steal away from his troubles for a bit and visit with him, even if Sandalphon doesn’t have an official, formal role established yet.  Sandalphon imagines Lucifer is still feeling it out, is all. He tries not to let it bother him. For so long as Lucifer is with him, it isn’t hard to forget his own troubles, either. While Sandalphon’s days are typically peaceful (particularly compared to what he imagines Lucifer is up against), Lucifer adds a spark to them that is otherwise missing from blue skies and botany.  Even though Lucifer is reserved, even just his smile is a comfort. His eyes bluer than the skies, his lips so soft--well, they look like they’re soft. Sandalphon tries not to stare, of course, or think about things like that for too long.

The wind doesn’t reach the two of them so easily as it does the foliage, they being protected by a column-lined covered walkway that winds through the lab research garden, and yet Sandalphon still finds himself regularly fixing his hair (though it’s always a little out of place to begin with).  By comparison, even when Lucifer’s wings are disturbed by the wind, not a single pure white feather moves out of alignment. By anyone’s definition, Lucifer is perfect.

Most of the time.

It’s become kind of a game to Sandalphon, seeing if he can ruffle his feathers.  Only a little, and never maliciously, he would never dream of taking pleasure in hurting Lucifer.  The game comes from the opposite impulse--it’s a reflection of his own growing affections, and is as much for Lucifer’s sake as his own.  Lucifer tends to arrive tense, and by the time the stress seems to be finally leaving his shoulders he’s usually called away again. With a little coaxing, however, Sandalphon has noticed it’s possible to ease him slightly quicker.  If he should, say, lightly brush Lucifer’s leg with his foot under the table, Lucifer tends to smile a little more. If he offers his help in harvesting coffee he appreciates the support, but he appreciates it more if Sandalphon happens to touch his hand, or reach between his wings and his back so that they’re in a temporary embrace.  He’s embraced him purposefully too, and Lucifer has willingly stood there with him for what felt like hours with his face buried in Sandalphon’s hair. That was an experience he’d be happy to repeat…

“Sandalphon?”  Lucifer’s voice snaps him out of his wandering thoughts.

“Sorry,” he says with a laugh.  “I was just thinking.” Lucifer flashes him an affectionate smile.

“Thinking about…?”

“Wishing, maybe,” he corrects himself.  “That you could stay here with me for a little longer than a day.”  Lucifer’s eyes light up. “Not to keep you away from your duties as supreme primarch!  I realize that these are delicate, formative years for the skies, ones you can’t afford to approach carelessly.”  Sandalphon carefully edges his heel along the ground until the toe of his shoe is able to rub against Lucifer’s ankle.  To his delight, Lucifer twists his foot about to return the gentle touch. A spark jumps throughout Sandalphon’s body. He innocently brings his cup back to his mouth and sips.

“I’m afraid so…”  Lucifer sighs. “We have thousands of years ahead of us, though.  Once our influence is no longer required, then I will be spending many more of my days in your company.”  The spark ignites a little flame. Sandalphon lowers his cup enough for Lucifer to see his smile.

“I hope that I’m assigned my own role soon.  That way those days can come much sooner.” Lucifer’s smile fades.  He withdraws his leg.

“Sandalphon,” he says softly.  “That’s none of your concern.”

“Sorry, I only--”

His heart leaps into his throat as Lucifer’s hand settles onto his.  Lucifer rarely makes his own physical advances. “Please be happy as you are,” he asks.

Sandalphon’s heart has begun to race.  He swallows to compose himself, and sets down his cup again.  “I am happy.” Lucifer smiles once more.

“And please, hold still for a moment.”  He freezes. Can Lucifer feel his pulse under his fingers?  Is his heart really beating that hard? Lucifer takes a cloth napkin from the table and brings it to Sandalphon’s lips.  The smaller angel jolts, which earns him a small chuckle from his companion. “My apologies. You had coffee on your lips.”

Sandalphon’s cheeks fill with blush.  “That was clumsy of me.” His lips are tingling now.  He can’t imagine when they’ll stop, if they ever will.  The warmth behind Lucifer’s eyes makes Sandalphon even more aware of the warmth now sitting in his stomach.  Lucifer has won this round. He averts his own.

“You should know that I too wish these days didn’t have to end.  Each time I visit you, I…” Lucifer voice drifts off. Sandalphon hears his chair scraping the ground as Lucifer stands, and he quickly returns to looking at him.  “But unfortunately, I think the time has come for me to go. I believe I’m about to be summoned.”

“You’re sure you can’t stay for another cup?” he asks hopefully even though he already knows the answer.

“Not today.  But thank you for sharing your company.”  As painful as it is to see such finality in Lucifer’s smile, he still looks beautiful wearing it.  The light filtering in through the spaces between the columns glints off his iridescent feathers and casts a faint rainbow over his pale hair and face.  “I’ll be back as quickly as I can. I’m only going out for a bit.”

“I know,” he manages to reply, and nods.  “I’ll be waiting.”

“I know.”  Lucifer begins to turn away.

Sandalphon catches his wrist before it disappears behind his radiant wings, and joins him in standing.  “Lucifer.”

“Yes?”

He smiles sheepishly.  “Ah… Good luck today.”

Lucifer nods.  “Thank you. I’ll keep your words with me.”  He turns again, withdrawing his arm, but Sandalphon’s fingers close on his wrist before he can escape.

“Lucifer.”  

He hears a soft sigh.  “Sandalphon--” Any chastising he was going to get is cut short when Sandalphon rises to the tips of his toes to meet him when he turns, his lips to his lips.  It only lasts for a brief adrenaline-driven moment before Sandalphon quickly pulls back. The tingling in his lips has spread throughout his entire body.

“I… forgot what I was going to say, heh.”  He shrugs innocently. Lucifer’s eyes have grown wide.  He’s still, save for one slight tremor that passes throughout all six of his wings made visible by the ruffling of his feathers.

“Lucifer?” comes a third voice, interrupting their staring contest.  Lucifer quickly pulls away and turns to the archway leading out toward the gate.  A dark-haired man in a stark white uniform is ducking beneath a bit of wisteria to enter the sheltered path.  Sandalphon jumps as well--people rarely pass beyond the gate into the garden unless scheduled to, and those that do tend to be messengers rather than officials.  After scanning the two of them with deep red eyes for a moment, a cheeky grin appears on his face. “Are you coming?”

“Yes,” Lucifer answers quickly.  “My apologies, Belial. I don’t mean to keep you waiting.”  Sandalphon finally allows his companion to disappear behind his wings.  After they’ve gained some space he follows them at a distance, treading the grass to keep his footfalls quiet, until the wings, too, disappear beyond the gate.  The dark-haired man has gone as well. He has no idea if he saw them kissing. He has no idea if that was something he was supposed to do. But even if it wasn’t, there’s no harm in being a little bad every now and then.

 

Maybe.

 

Nevermind, yes there is.

Sandalphon’s confidence, it turns out, was almost entirely due to the adrenaline.  Once he’s been alone long enough for it to wear off, his firm resolve gives way to a little bit of panic.  He finds himself buried in his private hideaway in the garden, his heart pounding and his body even hotter than a day in the summertime.  He is agonizing over the details of the encounter frame by frame: Lucifer’s gentle smile, his receptive ankle against Sandalphon’s, the touch of his hand--that was his decision, Lucifer’s own advance!  The feel of his fingers on his lips even though it was through a napkin, also certainly an advance. An invitation. Wasn’t it? Lucifer had seemed genuinely taken off-guard. Perhaps he hadn’t expected it.  That didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy it.

Seeing those ruffling feathers really did make Sandalphon a little proud.

It could take a century to fully unpack these feelings, or even a millennia or two.  Ideally Lucifer will come back before then so that they can at least talk about what happened.  Or continue where they left off… What will he do if Lucifer never comes back? He groans into his knees, curled on the floor of his small kitchen instead of anywhere comfortable, until he hears a rapping at the door.

He didn’t even notice any approaching aura, but he wastes no time before he’s at the door, throwing it open.  “Lucifer!”

“Whoa, whoa--simmer down, now!”  The dark-haired man from before backs away from the threshold, his hands raised to his chest and palms open to defend himself if need be.

“O-Oh.”  Sandalphon feels himself blushing for a different reason this time.  “I’m sorry. You’re ah, Lucifer’s adjutant, right?” They’ve met a few times but never held much of a conversation.

The adjutant shakes his head and lowers his arms, now smiling as he was earlier.  “Please, call me Belial,” he corrects him. “And don’t think of me as ‘Lucifer’s’ anything.  I don’t belong to him. That’s your distinction.” Another wave of blush passes over him. What is that supposed to mean?  The adjutant, Belial, takes a glance around the secluded building he calls home, smiling curiously. “Lovely place you’ve got here.  Little more impressive than just a gazebo.”

It’s such an odd experience, seeing one stranger twice in a day.  Typically, intentioned visits come from either Lucifer himself or some messenger on his behalf, a task not likely relegated to someone of such high rank.  It’s suspicious. Rather than acknowledging Belial’s small-talk: “Earlier, when you came into the garden… How long were you there watching us?”

Belial’s eyes widen.  “Oh, not long! I announced myself as soon as I found you.  I’m no voyeur. That’d be inappropriate.”

“Sorry,” he mutters.  “We don’t know each other very well--”

“It’s fine, I suppose.”  Despite the listless drawl in his voice, Belial is still smiling.  Is he being teased? “There’s no need to be so jumpy, though. How you two spend your time is none of my business, and I’d rather not walk in on you if you’re doing something you don’t want others to see.”

“We weren’t doing anything wrong!” he says firmly, although his face is flushed enough that he probably betrays his own mixed feelings.

Belial laughs.  “I told you, I wasn’t watching.  What do I know?” Sandalphon eases off.  “For someone who lives in a botanic garden, you don’t beat around the bush much, do you, Sandy?  It’s no wonder Lucifer is so taken with you.”

Taken with him?  Is what he wants to ask.  “Sandy?” he asks instead.

“Ever heard of a nickname?  It’s my way of being friendly.”

“Er, thank you, then,” he says as he scratches the back of his head.  Belial is a strange person. “So, did Lucifer send you to talk to me?”

“Nope, I’m here of my own volition,” he says.  “Do you not get many visitors, Sandy?”

He isn’t sure if he wants to answer that question, but he does so warily.  “Not typically. It’s usually just Lucifer and I.”

“How interesting.”  The adjutant hasn’t said anything rude, but for some reason the knowing grin on his face is getting under Sandalphon’s skin.  He feels like he’s being mocked, somehow. “Well, don’t get too disappointed--in a way, it _is_ Lucifer’s fault I’m here.”  

“How so?”

“Well!”  Belial claps his hands together, beaming at the invitation he’s just been given.  “I’m not sure if you’re aware, but Lucifer and I were created at the same time. We’re practically family.  Naturally, I’m very invested in his well-being. He gets so stressed on the job! Always pushing himself beyond his limits, being such a martyr.  Suffering so that others may suffer less.” Sandalphon’s heart twists along the description. Belial’s eyes flit over him in quick assessment. He smiles again, touching his chin thoughtfully.  “But when I retrieved him earlier, he came out with such a spring in his step that he nearly fell right over once we were out of the gate.” Now his heart skips a beat. Is that true? “It’s something I’ve been noticing about him a lot lately, whenever he visits you.  Actually we’ve all noticed it--even the other primarchs and Lucilius himself.”

“Oh.”  He is being pretty hard on him, Sandalphon can admit.  His suspicions are probably due more to his nerves than to anything the adjutant has done.  “Well, that’s nice to know. I’m glad I can be of help to him.”

“Look at that smile!”  It falters a bit per that acknowledgement.  “Really, though, I never expected Lucifer to take so affectionately to someone.  Is that your role, then? To be his stress relief?”

Sandalphon blinks, then runs his fingers through his hair, thinking.  “No, that’s… Just something I’ve been doing myself. Lucifer hasn’t asked it of me.”

Belial nods sagely.  “Then you’ve got good impulses.  Whatever you’re doing, keep it up.  Or amp it up, actually.” Belial’s expression then becomes serious.  “Things are only going to get more stressful going forward. He could use a little more TLC.  Have you considered a back massage? Those wings of his are awfully heavy.”

“What?”  Belial mimes an odd gripping motion in the air.

“You know, taking all that stress he has building up in him and just rubbing it out.  No?” He adds this curiously when words fail Sandalphon. “You struck me as a hands-on type of man, especially considering you just grabbed him and kissed him like that.”

He flushes with such an intense heat that he’s surprised he doesn’t burst into flame from either embarrassment or righteous anger.  “Y-You were watching! What happened to not being a voyeur?” He only flares up more when the adjutant bursts into laughter.

“Easy, easy, Sandy!  I’m sorry for fibbing earlier.  It was only half a fib, though--I really didn’t come in here expecting to see Lucifer of all people in the middle of a passionate embrace.”

“It wasn’t like that!  I barely--”

“Well there you go!  I told you I wasn’t watching.  I only caught the tail end of it.  Oh, but then you probably don’t want the second bit of advice I was going to give you…”

Sandalphon pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself down.  As humiliated as he is, against his better judgement, curiosity is winning.  He sighs before begrudgingly giving Belial another look. “What advice was that?”  The cheeky grin creeps back up Belial’s face. He regrets asking.

“Well, I was going to say that if you were bold enough, you could use that back massage I mentioned as a jumping off point to…”  He waits for Sandalphon to fill in the blank. Sandalphon has no idea why, unless it’s more taunting. He has no idea where this man’s mind is wandering.  When he doesn’t answer, Belial cheerily completes his own thought. “You know. _Really_ work that stress relief.  Take your relationship to the next level.  You follow, don’t you?” He’s trying very hard not to, but Belial’s tone of voice drags him there even more than his words do.  “You’ve even got a nice little hidey-hole here, all to yourself. No need to sprawl out under the awning where prying eyes could catch you.”  Sandalphon’s throat goes dry.

“I-I’m not going to do anything to upset Lucifer,” he insists, disdain building in his voice.

“You think you upset him?  He seemed pretty pleased to me.”  Sandalphon flinches, then withdraws and averts his eyes again.  Every time his patience begins to wear thin, Belial finds some way to keep him from closing the door on him.  He never realized how easy he was to string along. “Come on, now, Sandy, you don’t think your feelings are something dirty, do you?”  Now Belial’s voice is gentle. Syrupy, almost. Sandalphon refuses to look at him. “Lucifer designed you, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” he says curtly.

“But you think a perfect being like Lucifer made some sort of mistake with you?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it.  If you developing feelings like these for him is an aberration, that’s his fault.  Personally, though, I think it was totally intentional.” Sandalphon whips back to stare him down only to catch Belial’s eyes scanning over him much more slowly this time.  When Belial’s eyes reach his again, the adjutant laughs and waves him off. “Sorry, I spend a fair bit of time reviewing the reports we get on you archangels. It gives me some insight into the design process.  I’m sort of equal parts a scientist and an artist myself. I can’t help it if I recognize someone else’s work.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m asking you not to take my next the wrong way--I’m coming from a place of purely cerebral thought, nothing inappropriate in my head here.  But you look like a two-tiered ice-cream cone with a cherry on top, scientifically-speaking.” The phrase renders him dumbfounded. He merely gapes wordlessly, which Belial takes as an invitation to keep talking.  “And you don’t wear pants. What are those, see-through leggings? Was the wrap around your waist of your own design? The one with the slit going all the way up the front?” Sandalphon grabs the ends of the wrap and pulls it tightly over himself to keep Belial’s eyes off of his legs.

“What are you--what kind of adjutant are you?!  Keep your eyes to yourself!” he demands. He can’t even be angry, he’s been pushed beyond anger, into exasperation and total confusion.

Belial continues cooly.  “I told you, I’m not here as Lucifer’s adjutant.  I’m concerned about my friend’s well-being, and, admittedly a little excited on his behalf that someone has found a way to reach him in his time of need.”  Belial’s smile is bright now, and despite his crude topic of conversation, he somehow appears to be speaking sincerely. It is baffling. “Seriously, I’m not planning to harass you about it,” he says, despite having been doing so for the past several minutes, ”but after seeing the two of you together, I couldn’t help but step in.  Social graces aren’t Lucifer’s strong suit. Not a flaw, just a fact. He needs people like you and I in his life to keep him on track when it comes to matters of the heart. I trust your feelings are sincere. You want what’s best for him too, don’t you?”

Sandalphon grits his teeth, but he nods.  “Of course I do. More than anything, I want to help Lucifer.”

“Right on.  And if there was anything wrong with what you’re feeling, or what you may or may not be planning to do, a perfect, sinless being like Lucifer wouldn’t have allowed you to come into this world capable of it.  Remember that.” Sandalphon jumps as Belial pats him on the arm. “I’ll leave that to your discretion, though, and I won’t tell Lucifer we had this little talk. Just in case you decide you’re not ready to make that leap after all.  Good luck, Sandy, and take care! I’ll be rooting for you.” Belial offers him a little salute with a wink that makes his stomach churn, before casually sauntering off back towards the gate as though their conversation was something any two people might make small-talk over.  Where does he get off coming out here to say such things to him? About Lucifer, of all people? And how can he leave acting as though he’s convinced Sandalphon to take his advice--that he should… Should try to…

He closes the door with the intent of putting all thoughts of Belial out of his mind.  He’s capable of it, but less so of ignoring thoughts of Lucifer. Even if he did want to do something like that with Lucifer, he wouldn’t know where to start.  Making some kind of sexual advance would embarrass them both more than it would help. He actually thought his kiss was a smooth move, though, he has to admit. Lucifer was startled, but if he had been granted more time to process it and the opportunity to respond…  

He finds himself in front of the mirror, untying the wrap at his waist to get a better look at himself.  He runs his hands down his thighs. They’re about twice as thick as Lucifer’s even without pants. He follows the sinew along his calves, perpetually flexed by his heels.  Was any of this intentional? Was it some stroke of fate, or subconscious desire? Is Lucifer even capable of something like that? He recalls the way Lucifer stroked at the side of his leg with his foot, and the way that he touched his hand and his lips.  As he draws his hands back up his legs he projects those thoughts, imagining Lucifer’s hands in place of his own. How long has it been since Lucifer’s hands mapped out his own creation? How much has he thought about it since then? His hands come to rest at his nearly naked pelvis and he shudders.  There’s sweat beading at his neck like dew, and down between his legs so near where his fingertips are. The leggings are clinging more tightly to his body than is normal; before he can think about it much he begins to peel them away.

He wonders how long it will be before he sees Lucifer again.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you've ever seen birds mating, the following will probably be more vivid and far more hilarious. (I'm a biologist.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being trans is not a fetish. I am a trans author. Please refrain from making nasty comments--thank you!

The time between his last liaison with Lucifer and today has passed in relative silence, save for his own voice periodically filling the air with Lucifer’s name, along with some embarrassing noises he didn’t realize he could make.  He’s on his feet, cleaned up, and ready, though, when he catches the slightest sense of Lucifer’s aura on approach. Lucifer himself, not even a messenger. Calm, calm--stay calm! They’ve both had plenty of time to figure out what they want to say, and what they want to do next.  He’s sure Lucifer has thought about it as much as he has, and he hopes he’s come to similar decisions.

“Sandalphon?”  He hears his name faintly.  Normally when he knows Lucifer is on his way he waits for him out in the garden, eager to see him as quickly as possible, but today he’s exercising restraint.  “Sandalphon, are you available? I sense your aura…” Sandalphon steadies his breathing, but continues to wait patiently. If Lucifer’s aura begins to fade again he’ll rush out to catch him, but to his relief he hears the soft click of the door being opened.  “Sandalphon,” comes Lucifer’s voice a bit louder. “If you don’t wish to see me, please tell me. I’ll give you your space if you so wish.”

“Lucifer!” he calls over his shoulder.  “Sorry I didn’t greet you. I’m in the middle of something--in the kitchen.  You can come in.” He’s as excited as he is nervous. Lucifer’s footsteps approach, and soon he feels the other man’s eyes on his back.  Sandalphon is obscured by his own wings at the moment, but he won’t be for long.

“There you are,” says Lucifer, his voice full of relief.  The scent of coffee is on the air. “Are you making…?”

“Sorry,” Sandalphon repeats with a laugh.  “I was hoping to have this ready for you by the time you got here, but I got a little carried away choosing the beans.  I thought it’d be a nice surprise for me to treat you for once.”

“I appreciate your thoughtfulness.  That said, would you like some help?”

“Hah, I promise I’m capable of doing it myself…”  He smiles as he takes their saucers from the counter and banishes his wings.  Even without looking he feels the change in the mood of the room immediately. He expected it, given that he’s dressed himself down a bit, by which he means he’s shed all outer layers of clothing.  His wrap and his jacket are folded on the table, shoes tucked away; his undershirt and tights are still on, though, to protect his modesty. Sort of. He turns around to find Lucifer staring rigidly at his handiwork.  The intensity of his gaze sends a shiver through Sandalphon’s body, but he laughs again. “It’s been unusually hot over the past few days,” he offers as explanation. This isn’t a lie per se, though his exact interpretation of the word ‘hot’ is something he leaves up to Lucifer’s imagination.  Heat has definitely been a component of it. He walks boldly up to the other angel and offers him a saucer. This close to him he’s unable to disguise his own blush, but he maintains his smile. “Er, if this is too much I can dress myself a little more like you’re used to, though. I can tolerate the heat for you.”

Lucifer’s face, to Sandalphon’s immense satisfaction, turns a telling shade of pink as well.  He affects a stalwart expression, though, as opposed to his usual smile. It makes Sandalphon feel a bit guilty for coming on this strong, but not guilty enough to stop unless asked.  “No, it’s fine,” he says as he accepts the offered drink. “I don’t want you to make yourself uncomfortable.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable either, though.”  He _would_ stop if asked.  That is the heartfelt truth.  Lucifer finally smiles, but shakes his head.

“I’m perfectly fine, Sandalphon.  Please, let’s head into the garden.”

“I’ll go first,” Sandalphon offers.

“I promise I know the way by now,” Lucifer says quickly, leading him out without waiting for an argument.  He escapes outdoors and makes his way to the table quickly to take his seat before he has to see Sandalphon bend down to set down his coffee.  If nothing else, Sandalphon is now certain that Lucifer isn’t oblivious to his body. Belial had a point after all.

Sandalphon allows them both a little time to sit quietly in each other’s company before he begins the necessary conversation.  “I apologize for startling you the other day. It was an impulse. I’ve been missing you particularly lately,” he says, his head sinking between his shoulders.  Despite his excellent first move, his heart isn’t fully emboldened. Lucifer’s initial reaction to both the kiss and Sandalphon’s clothing only reinforce the need for a real apology.

“I should apologize myself,” Lucifer replies.  “For leaving so quickly after.”

“You had other duties to attend to.”

“Nonetheless, I took my time returning here out of concern over how we would talk about it in the aftermath, even though I had promised you otherwise,” he admits.

“...Well?”  Sandalphon’s ears are burning.  The primarch takes a moment longer to sip on his coffee, then finally gives his answer, kind of.

“I realize that I’ve been inviting those sorts of advances from you, in how physically affectionate I’ve become.  They’ve been escalating steadily. I’ve been receptive, so it follows that you would ultimately reach that point.”

“But how do they make you feel?”  He’s being impatient, he knows, but Lucifer has a tendency to withhold his feelings.  The adjutant put it into words better than Sandalphon himself could: Lucifer doesn’t want to burden others, and he isn’t always the most open or socially graceful primal beast because of it.  Their relationship is always made better by Sandalphon’s comparatively direct honesty. Lucifer has said as much.

“... I’m happy,” he says after a moment.  “Your feelings make me very happy.” Elation leaps onto Sandalphon’s face, but he pushes for more.

“I’m glad, but what are your feelings, in a similar sense?”  Lucifer sips his drink again, almost… shyly. It only feeds the fire.

“I care for you very deeply.”

“Lucifer, you know what I’m asking.”  He reaches and takes his free hand in imitation of what Lucifer did to him before their kiss.  “You said you were receptive. How receptive are you?”

Lucifer’s face is pinking again--perfect!  “More than I probably show.” Sandalphon laughs delightedly, drawing a little laugh from Lucifer as well.  His thumb caresses the back of Sandalphon’s hand. “Forgive me, I’m not used to this. Yet another reason I appreciate how forward you are.”

“Then can I kiss you again?”  He feels a slight jump in Lucifer’s hand, but doesn’t budge.  Lucifer has retreated behind his cup again. Sandalphon watches the lump in his throat go down as he swallows.  “You asked me to be forward. I want to kiss you.” Lucifer finally sets it aside. It’s empty. No more avoidance.  Sandalphon stands preemptively, still holding his hand. Sandalphon’s body is now fully visible to him again, but Lucifer’s eyes remain diligently trained on his face.  He stands, too, as his expression lightens.

“You may,” he says softly.  Sandalphon seizes the opportunity, rising again to his toes and pressing his lips against his.  This time he makes it last. Lucifer’s only just arrived--he has no reason to go. Lucifer takes a small breath at his mouth, but he soon rolls his lips against his.  Sandalphon is no expert, but he’s pleased to see--feel--that Lucifer seems just as clueless. He’s unusually clumsy, forced to bend down to chase his lips given that Sandalphon’s lack of heels has left him four inches shorter, and he was already short to begin with.  It’s beyond charming--he never seems to struggle with anything. The kisses are innocent, if not stilted, and yet his enthusiasm draws a moan into his lips. Lucifer pulls back in slight surprise. “Sandalphon…”

The sound of his name makes him shiver.  He moves his hands to Lucifer’s head to tug him back into something deeper.  These heated, harder kisses feel right, but they make him teeter unsteadily as he struggles to maintain the connection.  Lucifer is willing to keep up, at least, until Sandalphon’s swaying forces him to put his hand down on the table to avoid falling.  “This is hard,” the shorter man laughs. He feels a wave of heat pass through Lucifer’s neck under his fingers, but Lucifer laughs as well.

“You seem to fall into it more naturally than I do.”

“I guess I have good instincts.  I wonder whose fault that is,” he says with a sly little smirk.

“I wouldn’t know,” Lucifer teases back.  It’s incredible--he’s enjoying it. He’s really enjoying having Sandalphon in his arms.  They’re looped snugly around his back, and Sandalphon wishes he’d pick him up, maybe, to solve the problem of their craning necks.  Lucifer seems to have a different idea: “I feel this would be easier if we weren’t standing.”

His heart jumps.  Does he mean what he thinks he means?

“But I will stand for as long as you need.  I don’t want to stop either.” Lucifer closes his eyes and leans down to kiss him again--which he will not say no to--but Sandalphon has already developed a more elegant solution.  He pushes him towards his abandoned chair. “Hm?”

“We don’t have to be standing.  You should sit.”

“Then you’ll be the one having to bend down.”

“Not necessarily…”  Lucifer lowers himself into the chair.  Immediately Sandalphon plants his leg to the side of it and goes to straddle his lap.  Lucifer grabs his waist--”Ah!” he gasps at the touch of his hands in such a sensitive place--and holds him in place before he can touch down.

“Sandalphon,” Lucifer says a little more firmly.  “What are you doing?” Sandalphon blinks down at him, his face flushed and his body already very hot even from those fairly innocent kisses.

“I, ah…  Was planning to sit with you.”  ‘On’ him would be more accurate, but he’s not technically wrong, either.  “So that we can keep kissing. It made sense to me… Should I do something else?”  Lucifer’s arms have somehow become more tense than they were before they started kissing.  He gently squeezes Lucifer’s shoulders, digging his thumbs into his tight muscles, then slips his hands a little further down his back to stroke the base of his topmost set of wings.  The feathers twitch under his fingers. Leaning over him brings his chest nearer to Lucifer’s face, and suddenly one of Lucifer’s hands moves onto it--”A-Ah!” That's more forward than even Sandalphon himself has been, but he quickly realizes that Lucifer is gently pushing him away.  His other hand has retrieved his cup and saucer.

“Would you mind if I had another cup?” Lucifer gestures the empty one in his direction as though the last few minutes hadn’t happened at all.  

“Er, that would be… fine.”  Reluctantly, he backs off. Lucifer stands and moves past him without another word, but Sandalphon watches his legs in motion as he strides back to the building.  His gait is more rigid than is typical of an angel designed for his grace. It’s hard to say for sure beneath his wrap, but he thinks that when he passed by, his pants looked tighter than they did before.  He snatches his own cup from the table. “I’ll take one too, actually!”

He has to drain the rest of his on the brisk walk back to the hideaway to justify it, but it’s not difficult given that the coffee has gone cold.  Or maybe his tongue has gotten hotter.

He finds Lucifer pouring his own coffee at the kitchen counter.  He eases around his multitude of wings to sidle up beside him, and passes his cup to be filled as well.  Neither of them motions to return to their distant outdoor table. They continue drinking together where they stand.  Sandalphon’s eyes are fixed on Lucifer; Lucifer’s are closed. They open for just a moment and cut to him, an electric gaze that makes him jump, but close once more when he returns to his drink.

He was right about the coffee.  Compared to the heat inside him, even the remainder of the pot feels cool.  

The quiet between them now is stifling.  “Lucifer?” Lucifer has pressed himself as close to the counter as possible, he notices.  Is he hiding something? Sandalphon has a guess as to what. “How long were you planning to stay?  You’ve already been through two cups of coffee.” He laughs a bit, hoping to ease him some. The tension radiating off of the taller archangel is palpable even without touching him.  

“So I have…” he responds as though he’s only just now noticed.  

“Would you like the rest of mine too?”  He offers him the cup. It’s somewhat of a joke, but to his surprise Lucifer takes it from his hands and drinks deeply from what remains.  Functionally their cups are interchangeable, and yet--perhaps because of the atmosphere--there is something profoundly intimate about watching Lucifer drink from something that his lips have been on.  Sandalphon finds his palms on the counter. The motion of him hoisting himself up catches Lucifer’s eye--he turns in time to see Sandalphon settling, now at his eye-level. By the time the second cup has been set aside, Sandalphon’s hands have reached his shoulder.  “You’re not going anywhere,” he tells him as he pulls him closer, against no resistance.

Lucifer’s hand hovers near his hips, then moves across him, placing Sandalphon’s legs between his arms and forcing him to lean across them to reach his mouth.  Even though he’s not being touched directly, Lucifer’s proximity to them finds him rubbing his legs together and moaning again. He grabs for his face to stroke his cheek, taking in as much of Lucifer as he possibly can.  It’s sloppy, he knows, but the situation is escalating too quickly for carefulness. He brings one leg onto the counter as he twists his body to better face him. His calf grazes Lucifer’s armored stomach, and Lucifer escapes his hands again.  Before he protests, Lucifer asks, “Ah… Should you be doing that on the counter?” His eyes travel downward to gesture to Sandalphon’s misplaced legs, only to find them open, his tights clinging tightly enough to outline his frame. They’re visibly damp where they connect to his body.  Lucifer’s face reddens, as does Sandalphon’s. This was not intentional, but he won’t complain. He keeps his legs right where they are.

“Is your mind really focused on decorum?” he asks, laughing nervously now--he tries not to be nervous.  Lucifer is still looking. “Nobody else ever comes in here, and I’ll clean up after myself… and, erm, after you,” he hopes.  “If you…” Lucifer’s eyes flutter closed, but Sandalphon won’t let him overwhelm himself again. He cups his face and pulls him back up to look into his eyes again.  They’re so blue, but they look just faintly hazy in the way that the world seems to tremble when looked at through the heat. “Do you want to touch me?”

“Sandalphon,” he starts.

“You can,” he adds, nodding eagerly.

Lucifer closes his eyes again.

“What if I want you to?”  He can’t back down from this.  “What if I’ve been thinking about you touching me whenever you’re not around?  What if I’ve been doing it myself, pretending that it’s you?” The words tumble out straight from heart to mouth, bypassing any filter.  They still feel dirty, but they’re honest, and they’re innate, and if Lucifer gave him the capacity to want this so badly then it must be worth exercising!  Lucifer has begun to tremble. “I want you more than anything--if you want me, then I want you to show me, too. Please, Lucifer…” He can feel his heart pounding in his throat.  He can feel it between his legs. Lucifer is so, so agonizingly close to where he wants him to be. His hands slip from his cheeks down to his neck to measure the tension. If he can push him just a little further it will break.  He’s sure of it.

After another unbearable moment, Lucifer’s gaze softens.  “You’re really not afraid to voice your desires.”

“Of course I’m not,” he laughs, melting at the sight of Lucifer’s smile.  “I want--ah--” Lucifer lifts his calf and slips himself between his legs to face him dead-on.  He strokes Sandalphon’s face with what feels like yearning.

“Please, don’t ever stop.  It’s wonderful.” Sandalphon feels a wash of heat even before he feels Lucifer’s hand on his leg a second time.  Taking a deep breath, he wraps his arms around the primarch’s neck and closes the remainder of the distance. The rubbing on his thigh spurs him forward--he catches him in a kiss open-mouthed.  Lucifer’s tongue is so soft and sweet. It’s no wonder he takes his coffee so bitter--the remnants Sandalphon can catch taste like cream. Lucifer’s other hand alights on his back and travels upward along his spine to finger the spots where Sandalphon’s wings are hidden.  They thread into his thick hair to the tune of another groan, still from Sandalphon. Lucifer is incredibly quiet, but he is matching him kiss for kiss, tongue for tongue, and his fingers are getting more adventurous.

Over the past few days of masturbatory experimentation he came to realize that he’s very vocal while being touched.  Being with Lucifer amplifies this, particularly as his hand rubs the length of his thigh until his thumb is able to draw halos into the sensitive place where it connects to his pelvis.  He mewls outright when Lucifer chooses to linger there (that’s a new one, he’s never made that sound before), until he’s forced to part from him to gasp for air. “P-Please…”

“I can feel how wet you are from here,” Lucifer murmurs.

“Yes, I may have to replace these tights,” he laughs breathlessly, trying to subtly push the other man’s fingers closer to his eager crotch.

Lucifer rolls his lips over Sandalphon’s top lip before stopping to speak again.  “Promise me you’ll clean the kitchen.”

“This again?  I will, I promise, I--ahh--ahhh!”  His words are caught up in that cry.  Lucifer’s slender fingers have moved directly onto his clit over the fabric of his drenched tights.  Lucifer’s attention turns to his own hands as he experimentally traces his shape. He outlines each part of him, tucking the spandex into every fold and crevice to make the surrounding flesh more visible.  He wonders how much time Lucifer spent on this during his creation. Even if he took his time, he has a difficult time imagining him shaping him this way with licentious intent. Not that it matters; whatever Lucifer’s intentions were back then, right now they’re certainly erotic.  Even though Lucifer appears calm, he’s sucking in air through his mouth now that his nose is no longer sufficient. Having finished mapping out his features, Lucifer’s hands drift back to his clit and begin to circle it with care. Sandalphon bites his lip. “Ahh, let me take them off.  It’ll only take a moment."

It’s among the longest moments he’s ever felt.  After having Lucifer’s hand tucked between his legs, its absence feels like the loss of something fundamental to his very core.  He shudders as his bare backside touches the cool stone of the countertop and his hot labia very nearly do. Lucifer finishes removing the tights for him and drops them to the floor rather ceremoniously, then returns his hand to stroking Sandalphon’s slick folds, now skin against skin.

He draws his fingers from his entrance up to his clit in a gentle, rhythmic spiral.  Sandalphon dives for his mouth again, his tongue desperate for more attention. Lucifer rubs him harder.  He struggles to raise his hips toward his hand to give him more space to touch, and squirms closer to the counter’s edge to offer even more.  His leg kneads into Lucifer’s hip over his wrap and pants. That’s right--as incredible as it feels to have Lucifer’s hands on him, nearly inside him but hesitant in going through--he could, if he wished to--he’s losing track of his own thoughts.  That’s right, this was originally meant to be a way for him to help Lucifer. He begins to massage his neck to shift the focus back onto him. He’s less tense than before, but still not loose enough. He certainly won’t get any better if he’s only working with his hands.  “Lucifer, you…” Sandalphon has to stop to take an extra breath. It’s difficult to breathe, let alone talk, through the stroking of Lucifer’s delicate fingers.

“Yes?”

There’s a heaviness to Lucifer’s voice that he isn’t used to.  Shuddering, he bucks his hips into his hand, needing more of his touch.  “Ah--you should dress down too,” he finally manages. “You haven’t undressed at all.”  

“Is the friction of my gloves too much for you?”  Lucifer’s fingers may be bare, but he does have gloves that begin at his palms.  While they haven’t disturbed him, they are suffering the same fate as the tights, being now covered in his fluids.

“No, I...”  On the contrary, Sandalphon grabs the hand between his legs and brings Lucifer’s fingers directly to his entrance, leaning back to better expose himself as he does.  Lucifer was already flushed, but he reddens even more. “I want to feel more of you--not only your hand, I want all of you, here.” To emphasize his request he kneads his leg more into Lucifer’s side.  Holding Lucifer’s hand where it is as he moves his leg allows him to rub the sensitive outer ring of his entrance against Lucifer’s fingers, which he hopes he finds inviting. He forces out more words. “Y-You asked me to be forward.”

“You are certainly forward…”

“Is it still wonderful?”

Lucifer nods, but Sandalphon still whines when his hands slip away.  He can tolerate their absence this time, however, given that they’ve traveled down to unfasten his clothing.  He replaces Lucifer’s with his own hand, but eases from rubbing into sliding his ring and middle fingers inside himself to prepare his body for what’s coming.  In a few moments, Lucifer pulls his erection free of his pants. Sandalphon’s throat goes dry; the rest of him gets significantly wetter. Once finished with shedding everything disguising his lower body, Lucifer returns to remove Sandalphon’s hand and take his hips in his own hands.  “Come down, then,” he says in barely above a whisper. “We’ll go to bed together.”

He lacks the patience for that.  “There’s no need.” Sandalphon kicks his legs between his middle and lower wings.  This thought is only half-formed, but the caress of his feathers on his bare skin confirms that this sudden stroke of inspiration was a good one.  He grabs his shoulders, locks those legs around Lucifer’s freshly bared hips, and pulls himself off the counter. Lucifer’s fingers sink painfully into his pelvis as he grabs to account for the sudden weight thrust upon him--he staggers backward but narrowly avoids falling with a few harrowing twitches of his wings.

“S-Sandalphon!”  It might’ve been a good idea to warn him before throwing himself at him, as he lands not quite where he should.  Lucifer’s cock slides up his leg and onto his stomach, giving him a good look at it if nothing else. The angel struggling to remain upright drops his hands down to his new counterweight’s behind to help hoist him up as Sandalphon pulls on his neck.  His cock slides briefly against his clit in the scramble, drawing out another breathless cry, but between the leverage provided by Lucifer’s lower wings, Lucifer’s hands, and his own vice grip on the back of his neck, he rises to where he can feel the tip of Lucifer’s cock brushing more appropriately against his entrance.  His anticipation is mounting faster than he is. They lock eyes once they feel stable, and Sandalphon begins to ease himself back down. Lucifer’s cock stops briefly against the resistance of his vagina, one last barrier to overcome. He lessens his grip against gravity and it slips inside.

He may have underestimated what to expect from Lucifer in this regard.  The pressure breaks his eye contact. His head tilts back with every inch he takes, until the angle forces him to stop and he rests there, panting.  Lucifer’s shoulders are absolutely rock solid under his hands now, but that’s by virtue of positioning. The real relaxation will come after his climax.  The pleasure that Sandalphon intends to work him to will soothe any stress that acting as supreme primarch could cause--he’s confident in that. The smaller angel lifts himself as much as he can, then slides down again with a slow, heated moan.  Again--and again--Lucifer is mainly standing still to stay on his feet. It forces Sandalphon to buck awkwardly off of his wings to stay in motion, but as the noises escaping him grow louder, the grip on his backside tightens with the flexing of Lucifer’s arms.  On the next drop, Lucifer’s hips thrust to meet him. “Ahh--Lucifer!”

Lucifer has returned to being deep in focus, now watching his erection sliding in and out of Sandalphon’s swollen folds--it’s nearly pornographic, but it’s likely driven only as much by desire as it is by the desire to be careful.  Sandalphon appreciates that delicateness. He hadn’t anticipated how difficult this would be. He can’t bear to stop, though. Lucifer’s hands have taken to rubbing his ass as he rolls his hips into him, and that--and even just the intensity of his gaze--it all adds so much to the overall experience that continuing in this tantric style is more than worthwhile.  Sandalphon closes his eyes to lose himself in the feeling, until the rustling of wings catches his attention.

While there’s no way for him to open them to full span in the small kitchen, Lucifer is stretching them out and forward.  Sandalphon carefully shifts his balance on the bottom pair to avoid falling; ultimately they become encased beneath all six, sealing them off from the outside.  It creates a pocket of time, a space for they and they alone to use and use together. It’s intimacy beyond anything he’s ever imagined, being held like this within Lucifer’s wings. From a distance they look white but their iridescence makes them more colorful in the light, and now even here in the dark he can sense that sparkle permeating every feather.  Has anyone else ever been so close to him? Have they noticed that? Someone must have, but all the same Sandalphon’s heart throbs--on the next rise he flexes his legs enough to remove himself from Lucifer’s cock entirely. He needs to reach his face so he can kiss him while they’re like this. Lucifer seems to share his feelings, as there’s nothing awkward or stilted about this kiss.  It’s purely passionate. Sandalphon slings an elbow onto his shoulder to prolong it. Even without Lucifer inside of him, he feels so intertwined--not that he’s any less aroused. If anything, it makes him want him even more.

Their lips finally, reluctantly, separate so that Lucifer may guide him back down and enter him again.  It feels better now--he feels _wanted_.  “Lucifer… Lucifer, ah…!”  And he can’t stop saying his name.  It’s practically a kiss itself in the way his tongue flicks on the L and his lips roll over the U and F, then hang on the final R.  He pulls himself off again to say it directly into the namesake lips.

“Am I hurting you?” Lucifer asks when they part this time.  “You keep pulling away.”

“N-No, it’s…  It’s incredible,” he breathes back.  “How does it feel for you?”

“Indescribable.”

“Ah!”  He’s brought down again.  Lucifer’s question makes his heart race faster.  “C-Can you do it harder?”

“If we were lying down, we could…”

“No, wait.”  He’s aching for him too badly to change locations.  “I… I can help you,” he stammers. Lucifer’s arms begin to tremble as Sandalphon’s weight redistributes itself with the manifestation of his own pair of wings.  They extend from his back and thrust their way through the space between two sets of Lucifer’s. Lucifer quickly retracts his own and watches him with wide eyes as Sandalphon boldly flaps his wings with what little room he has.  It’s only enough to propel him a little further out before he drops back onto him, but it’s faster and harder and the effect is immediate--he cries out from the sudden intensity with which he’s penetrated. Even Lucifer’s breath shudders.  He has to stop after that first one and sit with Lucifer’s cock deep inside him now, his legs trembling uncontrollably. But this isn’t about him. “Ah--Is--is that… good?” he manages to ask once he’s caught his breath.

“Sandalphon…”  That’s as much of an answer as he’s given, but just hearing him moaning his name instead of the reverse fully ignites the need to push himself into this new rhythm.  Lucifer’s fingers dig into his flesh as he fights to keep him from slipping out of his grasp, but Sandalphon hardly notices. His focus is solely on how it feels to have Lucifer so deep in him, and also how he has to angle his forceful bouncing just right or risk hurting them both.  It’s nearly painful even when he’s doing it right, but it is gratifying beyond belief. Lucifer must be getting close--he’s flying dizzyingly close to his own climax now. But he can hold out long enough to see him finish! He can already envision him finally crying out, no longer able to hold his feelings in.

“--Ah, ah--!”

 _Wanting--_ no, _needing_ Sandalphon so fiercely that he can’t stop, his body will be begging to hold him, to keep him close, closer even than he was while embraced within his wings.  He wants to see that so badly. He’s sure by now that Lucifer wants him, but he needs Lucifer to say it and show it.

But then, “Lucifer…”  Lucifer has to finish first--”L-Lucifer, please, Lucifer… ah--ahh!  I’m going to--” His eyes squeeze shut against his best efforts. His willpower runs short, he’s too close now to stop himself.  He nearly slips off of Lucifer’s shoulders as he drops a hand to frantically rub his clit. If he keeps flapping he’ll either fall off or fall over, so he tucks the wings in again and returns to bucking his hips with his legs to the best of his ability--but Lucifer picks up his slack and maneuvers Sandalphon himself.  He cries out with a sudden arch in his back that throws his wings out again as orgasm seizes his body. It overwhelms him, sets his nerves alight through Lucifer’s incredible power or maybe even his own in this case, or maybe just because they’re together and power is meaningless when he and Lucifer are together, especially like this.  It’s…

It’s ecstasy.  

“ _Lucifer_ …”  His body shudders.  Ecstasy ebbs quickly into overstimulation.  He wearily extracts himself from Lucifer’s cock and pulls himself much closer to the other man’s body.  The metal plates of Lucifer’s remaining armor dig into his chest and stomach, but he clings anyway, panting.  He banishes his wings to make himself easier to hold. He really wants to be held, even if he’s a little disgusting.  He can feel his cum dripping down his leg from the force he was riding him with.

Lucifer is still breathing hard enough for him to feel it even through the armor.  He adjusts his arms to better hold Sandalphon, as if he can tell what he wants without words.  If he finds anything about him filthy he doesn’t show it. His nose buries into his hair and his lips brush the side of his head.

“Ah…”  Sandalphon takes a deep breath, then nuzzles into Lucifer’s neck with a pleased sigh.  “Amazing… Was that good for you too?” He’s sure that it was, but he’d like to hear it.

“You’re incredible,” he replies, kissing his head again.  Sandalphon smiles until he notices something firm against the back of his leg.  

“Hm?  Lucifer…”  He leans back to look him in the face.  “Did you finish?”

Lucifer’s smile turns a bit sheepish.  “No, I did not, but I’m satisfied.” Sandalphon frowns.  “Really, I am. You look exhausted.”

“I’m fine!  I don’t mind, we can--agh!”  He winces as Lucifer’s fingers prod at his incredibly tender entrance.

“You were working us both awfully aggressively.  You’re already sore, and I imagine it’s going to get worse before it gets better.  I’m not going to hurt you.” The smile on Lucifer’s face is frustratingly adoring. Of course he would think too much of Sandalphon’s needs before his own.

“I promise I’m fine--my regenerative abilities should take care of it quickly.”  This isn’t technically regeneration (he hopes) but he assumes similar rules apply.  He furrows his brows, pleading. “You have to finish too, otherwise this whole thing will have been for naught.”

The smile on Lucifer’s face fades.  “Excuse me?”

Somehow that makes him more self-conscious than anything else they’ve done.  He blushes, then clarifies. “That was phrased poorly, sorry. What I meant was, it’s not fair for me to finish and you not.  Please, let me do this for you.” He eases his shaky legs onto the floor, careful to avoid accidentally knocking against Lucifer’s patient erection.  “It doesn’t have to be my body. I can use my hands, or even my mouth.” He has even less experience with that, but he can figure it out. He wonders if Lucifer is as sweet there as his mouth is…  He reaches for his cock, but Lucifer catches his wrist.

“Sandalphon,” he begins carefully, “did doing this with me have something to do with your concerns about your purpose?”

“Of course not!” he replies quickly.  “I mean, I did want to help, but…”

“Help with what?”  Lucifer’s face has gone to stone.

“Well… You’ve been so tense lately,” he explains, rubbing his own arm.  “I’ve been hoping that I could help relieve some of that, if no one else could.  The feeling you get after an orgasm would--”

“That’s enough.”  He jolts. Lucifer’s face becomes stricken, twisting Sandalphon’s stomach into a knot.

“I just want to help you!”

“This is not the sort of thing that you ‘help’ with, Sandalphon,” he says firmly.  “I did not create you to please me.”

“No, you don’t get it--I just wanted you to know that it wasn’t solely a selfish desire!”  He jerks his wrist free of Lucifer’s grip. “Do you really think that I don’t care for you?”

Lucifer sighs with exasperation in his breath.  He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “No, I know that you do.  I know your heart is in the right place… But I don’t think you should take advice from Belial on how best to help me.”  Sandalphon’s heart drops into his stomach at the adjutant’s name.

“W-What do you mean, from Belial?”

Another sigh.  Lucifer opens his eyes again--there’s pain in them, by extension a stab in the gut to Sandalphon and to the heart still lodged in it.  “Not to say that he’s self-centered, but Belial and Lucilius have… a unique type of relationship outside of Belial’s purpose.  He mentioned that he saw you kiss me the other day. I imagine he saw some reflection of that in you. Did he return to speak with you after?”

“I didn’t do this because of Belial!” he insists.  “I meant every word of it--I wanted to help because I want _you_.  It wasn’t entirely selfish, but, it was… somewhat selfish of me.”  His gaze falls, hanging on Lucifer’s arousal, still there, still untouched, for a nervous minute before finally averting to the floor.  “I kissed you because I wanted to, and I wanted to--to make love like this. Do you not want me?” Lucifer’s hand touches his cheek. He looks up at him hopefully.  

“Don’t do this again.”

“Lucifer--”

He’s cut short when Lucifer’s lips dust his forehead.  He lingers and speaks softly. “I recognize your sincerity.  But please, for as long as you see it as some kind of favor, don’t do this again.”  Sandalphon takes a shaky breath and forces himself not to argue. “You’re a solace to me, not a servant.”

“I know that.”  The word ‘solace’ makes his heart flutter, but his determination doesn’t waver.  “There’s a difference between helping someone because you care for them, and serving them because you have to.”

“I know that, possibly better than anyone.”  He pulls away, but Sandalphon refuses to end on such a note.  He chases him, grabbing his arms and leaping to reach him in time to steal one more kiss.  Lucifer’s disappointment is replaced instead by fresh blush and more genuine surprise. Sandalphon stares him down.  

“We’ll work up to it, then.  We’ll go slowly if we must, but when I kissed you the first time I planned for that to be the first of many.  I don’t intend for this one to be the last.” There’s a little flash of light through Lucifer’s eyes, just briefly, but he says nothing.  Sandalphon leaves him to think on his statement. “Wait here, I’ll get some things to clean up with.” As promised. He does, in fact, respect Lucifer’s wishes.  Before he exits the kitchen he looks back to be sure that Lucifer is respecting his. Lucifer hasn’t moved or turned. He adds a last thought: “By the way, not to overstep, but I’ll give you a minute or so if you’d like to finish yourself.  I don’t think you’ll fit back into your pants very well as you are right now.” This is a practical statement, not a last ditch effort on his part to accomplish his goal. Well, it may be a bit of both. Facing away renders Lucifer fully obscured by his wings, but Sandalphon doesn’t need to see his face to know that he’s listening.  A shiver passes through all six in turn, visible in the ruffling of his pretty feathers.

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a collection of stories about the complexity of creator and creation living alongside each other, falling in love, and how far a creation can stray from its intended purpose. They're all stand-alone stories, but are thematically-related.
> 
> See also: "Pygmalion" (T-rated)


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